COLLABORATIVE NEGOTIATING:

Collaborative negotiating is a win-win strategy that can focus the resources of the people involved in the process towards strengthening results, productivity, quality, creativity, and innovation in problem-solving. To use the collaborative approach to negotiating you will have to agree on the aim of negotiations. Before any sort of bargaining can begin, you and your counterpart must define the who-what-where-when-how-and-why of the issue and have a general idea of the objectives and dimensions of a solution.

WHEN USING NEGOTIATING COLLABORATIVELY:

1) Acknowledge the other person’s position. Negotiating doesn’t require that the two of you hold similar positions of authority. It doesn’t require that you like each other. But it does require that you be prepared to treat the other person as an adult, be ready to listen as well as talk, and to recognize that your view is not necessarily the only one. 2) Gain the other person’s trust. No matter how logical and factual you are, the other party will doubt your credibility. Good faith commences with symbolic acts like eye contact, shaking hands, pulling out a chair for someone, and it is maintained by consistent honesty. If you want others to level with you, level with them. Although you may feel that an occasional bluff could help your position, don’t gamble. The consequences can be disastrous if your hand is called.

1) Identify areas of mutual interest and agreement. Before two people can resolve differences, they must find a common ground where meaningful negotiations can begin. 2) Set a positive accepting tone. The tone of negotiations must be positive. This applies both to what is discussed and how it is discussed. If you have to say something negative, phrase it in a positive way or preface it with a positive statement. Phrase words so that they elicit a positive response to advance your position rather than stop the negotiation. This helps to prevent defensive reactions and promotes affirmative thinking.

1) Be aware of what you are saying and doing. People sometimes become so intent on watching, listening, or speaking to others that they fail to watch themselves. Words, body language, tone of voice, and voice inflection have many ambiguous meanings. Humor is especially troublesome — it can be interpreted as flippant or sarcastic. Only through self-observation can you be certain that you are conveying the message you want in the manner you want. 2) Maintain a question and answer exchange. The heart of any negotiation is the ongoing dialogue during which negotiators discover each other’s feelings, understandings, attitudes, prejudices, and objective views of the situation. It enables you to acquire the proper perspectives, separate actual from fancied needs, isolate the real obstacles, and identify what approach to use in obtaining agreement. Ask specific, open-ended questions, and probe areas of conflict to uncover as much information as possible. Your own answers and statements must be equally candid.

Should I go back to school? Get an MBA? Well, presentation skills training is often a much better investment of time, and people who invest in presentation coaching often increase their income significantly over a longer period of time and make themselves more valuable to their companies as well. Business leaders often comment on how important “communication skills” are to a person’s (or team’s) success, but in reality, what they are often looking for is someone who presents his/her ideas well to both other individuals and groups. In fact, as a person progresses up through the ranks of large companies, future personal growth often begins to depend less on their ability to do the day-to-day operations of the company and more on their ability to motive and direct others. For instance, Donald Thompson, the CEO of McDonald’s, is probably not the absolute best person in the company at making Big Macs. It is the same in every company. The higher a person moves within the organization, the more important his/her communication skills and presentation skills become. The most important role of most of these high-level people is to persuade and to motivate others.

When People Say “Communication Skills,” They Really Mean Presentation Skills

Think of the last time that you said (or heard someone say) “That person really needs better communication skills” or “That person really has great communication skills.” Chances are, the person was speaking to a group and trying to persuade the group. In reality, when we talk about communication, we really mean presentation skills or a person’s ability to persuade others. For example, years ago, just before the oil bust in the early 90′s, I worked for a big oil company that had over 300 people who worked on contracts, including me. I was new to the company and, in a staff meeting, our team was trying to solve a paperwork problem that we were continuing to have as we transferred leases to other companies. Because I had been one of the people on the front line dealing with this issue, I came up with a great solution. However, I was also brand new to the organization, so instead of telling the group my idea, I remained quiet. The woman to my left at the table, Mary, didn’t hesitate. She presented a similar idea to the group, the team agreed that the idea might work. I kicked myself for weeks, because I had the opportunity to speak up, but I missed it. Mary had the opportunity to speak up, and she became the hero. Incidentally, years later, after I had moved on to another career, I went back to this company to visit with old friends after I heard there had been a big layoff of personnel. Of the 300 people who were originally there, 270 had lost their jobs, 25 had been moved over to contractor status, and five were still employed in leadership positions over the contractors. One of those remaining five was Mary.

Great Presentation Skills Leads to More Income

The ability to speak in public is one of the absolute highest paid skills in the business world, because the person who speaks well in front of a group is often perceived as being the expert. When I first started my business, I attended a seminar at one of the local colleges for entrepreneurs, and the instructor had a guest speaker who owned a direct marketing company come in and show us some of the marketing campaigns that she had developed for her clients. A few months later, when I was organizing a direct mail campaign, and of course, I called this guest speaker, because, I assumed that if the teacher of the entrepreneur class believed in her, I could as well. I worked with her for a couple of years before I realized that her company was basically she and her husband working out of their garage. Because she was the guest speaker, I and the other class members saw her as the expert, and we all assumed that she owned a big, multi-gazzillion dollar company. (Just as an FYI, I still use her company.) Salespeople who communicate well sell more. Business owners who communicate well have more customers. Managers who communicate well have more efficient teams. Executives who communicate well command higher salaries. So when a person communicates well, a higher income often results.

When All Other Things Are Equal, Communication Skills Can Put One Person Over the Top

When all other things are equal between two people who are competing for a position within a company, the one who has a higher level of communications skills (presentation skills) will often be selected. For instance, if you are the boss, and you have two employees with the same certifications, who have been working for the company for about the same amount of time, and who each put out a similar effort doing their jobs, but one just gave a knockout presentation to the staff, then that person who gave the presentation will likely get the promotion. In fact, though, because communication skills are so important as a person progresses to the top of an organization, the person who gives the great presentation will often get the promotion even if he/she isn’t quite as good at the day-to-day operations of the department (see the first paragraph above).

So, are you looking for a way to become more valuable to your company? Additional education and certifications can always give you a boost, but improving your presentation skills will often give you a much bigger bang for your buck